Summer Series: “Taste Test”
Humans are innovative creatures. We can travel to the moon, go miles beneath the sea…and make edible underwear. Like I said, innovative. Regardless, humanity has created numerous oddities on earth, one such thing being questionable flavors in foods. And if there’s anything I know about summer, is that people love to eat! So let’s get into three foods that are strangely flavored you could attempt to try for these beach months.
Let’s start out simple. In the spirit of summer, watermelon Oreos could be an interesting treat to treat yourself with. Nestled between two vanilla flavored cookies, the signature piece of this delicacy is the watermelon flavored cream in the middle. Being an odd pink and green color, the cream might seem of putting initially, however its taste is a rather subtle watermelon flavor, and not nearly as overpowering: a nice touch. Overall, watermelon Oreos are an interesting treat to watch out for. If you can get your hands on this, you should find yourself pleasantly surprised.
Let’s step it up with the next one. A nice cool, minty flavor is nice to have when the weather heats up. And what’s more minty then a candy cane? But, they’re more known during the winter seasons, so that won’t work. What if we changed the flavor to a more summer based taste? Like, a nice fruit flavor…or pickled flavor. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, pickles are in, peppermint is out. Feeling brave for a unique summer treat? Then buy yourself some nice pickled flavored candy canes to really spice things up. Though, honestly, who the heck thought this was a good idea. I mean, I like pickles as much as the next guy, but really? This? The taste is often nonexistent, but when it is there, oh boy is it there. And oh boy is it bad. I would, under no circumstances, recommend this to anyone to legitimately eat. However, if you’re looking for a gag gift, or you’re some kind of masochist, then these can be right up your ally. Just don’t come crying to me when you ultimately find these repulsive.
Lastly, we come to the strangest flavor of these three. But first, if anyone was to ask you what the two most notable things of summer are, what would you answer? Everyone would say something different, but two notable choices are this: Ice cream and the sea. Now, sea salt ice-cream is already a thing, so someone somewhere decided to take it a step further. Instead of the sea, they took what was in it instead. And not just anything, specifically the wildlife, and in particular, shrimp. Shrimp ice cream, perhaps the food that most encompasses what summer is, if someone took summer, beat the crap out of it, stole all its valuables, and left it with only the clothes on its back. That’s shrimp ice cream. Literally no one would try this. I don’t care who you are. If you like this, then all the more power to you, but I’m sorry to say you’re a monster in human clothing. If you really, really want to try this, then I can only salute you off. It’s been nice knowing you.
Jonathan Fanshaw ’20 | Literary Staff